Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
