your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize