i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
