I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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