Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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