I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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