So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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