Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Floor bacon is actually really good
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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