How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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