Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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