Me. At least after what I've been through.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
40s are totally the cure
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
