there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
