just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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