Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
