I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
