sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
What a dumb baby whore.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
