Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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