found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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