Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
