She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
