I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
