so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize