Christians are straight up FREAKS
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
