pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize