didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
