just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
