No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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