It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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