Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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