We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
