Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
