Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
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I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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