Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
