We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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