So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
operation have a gay friend backfired
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
