I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
