My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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