My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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