What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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