in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
