i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
