Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
