Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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