he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
