How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Houston, we have a squirter
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
