Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
