I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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