Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
