Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
