well I can't set my house on fire every night
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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