My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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