Only a mothe r could love this liver
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
They have beer where we have blood.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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