Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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