Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
