and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize