this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize