Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
