Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
