Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  it's more of a rinse.

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  (773): is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar? (773): it's more of a rinse. http://tfl.nu/la1k
  Replies (66) Good night (1567) Bad night (2619)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Im so hungover

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Come over i have rolls

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?

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  (201): Im so hungover (248): Come over i have rolls (201): Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls? http://tfl.nu/4en6
  Replies (33) Good night (4710) Bad night (794)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.

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  (586): No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises. http://tfl.nu/ovsh
  Replies (11) Good night (4730) Bad night (732)
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  (530): View more from California

  I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.

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  (530): I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons. http://tfl.nu/pcjk
  Replies (20) Good night (6235) Bad night (937)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.

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  (302): She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her. http://tfl.nu/dsg0
  Replies (17) Good night (4325) Bad night (1843)
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  (760): View more from California

  she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.

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  (760): she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse. http://tfl.nu/wf42
  Replies (10) Good night (3435) Bad night (1029)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...

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  (704): You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that... http://tfl.nu/s4gm
  Replies (10) Good night (2462) Bad night (1091)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.

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  (904): After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay. http://tfl.nu/z22k
  Replies (4) Good night (2441) Bad night (911)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.

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  (610): You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude. http://tfl.nu/8276
  Replies (6) Good night (1822) Bad night (766)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.

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  (812): She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch. http://tfl.nu/v1q1
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (1221)
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  (805): View more from California

  Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.

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  (805): Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock. http://tfl.nu/vnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (809)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  Wow, he seems so solid

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  (253): So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter (1-253): Wow, he seems so solid http://tfl.nu/880c
  Replies (7) Good night (1611) Bad night (517)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man

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  (248): Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man http://tfl.nu/pjf5
  Replies (0) Good night (397) Bad night (879)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house

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  (214): Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house http://tfl.nu/mqs8
  Replies (3) Good night (640) Bad night (403)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Help everyone's hot

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot

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  (410): Help everyone's hot (410): Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot http://tfl.nu/8oap
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (362)

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