You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
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You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.