Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.

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  (810): i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand. (1-810): nice, that's exactly what jesus would do. http://tfl.nu/jen7
  Replies (19) Good night (4337) Bad night (745)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.

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  (617): She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl. http://tfl.nu/oaik
  Replies (48) Good night (8958) Bad night (1393)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."

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  (904): I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear." http://tfl.nu/t3d7
  Replies (4) Good night (4082) Bad night (1330)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox

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  (904): I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox http://tfl.nu/xijk
  Replies (15) Good night (3691) Bad night (1452)
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  (585): View more from New York

  complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.

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  (585): complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this. http://tfl.nu/7hr5
  Replies (6) Good night (3391) Bad night (990)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover

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  (314): rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover http://tfl.nu/mxp0
  Replies (15) Good night (5262) Bad night (1221)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you

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  (503): He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you http://tfl.nu/gy7n
  Replies (11) Good night (1279) Bad night (2993)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.

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  (575): He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo. http://tfl.nu/zgra
  Replies (3) Good night (1779) Bad night (810)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.

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  (727): Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen. http://tfl.nu/2lhp
  Replies (6) Good night (2149) Bad night (831)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen

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  (907): Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen http://tfl.nu/aug1
  Replies (14) Good night (1023) Bad night (2710)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...

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  (504): I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off... http://tfl.nu/wbci
  Replies (11) Good night (2307) Bad night (723)
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  (737): View more from Texas

  Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.

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  (737): Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner. http://tfl.nu/o0od
  Replies (5) Good night (1552) Bad night (769)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.

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  (512): Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back. http://tfl.nu/xf8c
  Replies (5) Good night (1098) Bad night (583)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.

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  (479): Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast. http://tfl.nu/ay73
  Replies (1) Good night (962) Bad night (382)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.

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  (479): I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience. http://tfl.nu/fk3c
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (190)

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