please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
