when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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