You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.