Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!

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  (312): She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon! http://tfl.nu/58y3
  Replies (9) Good night (4190) Bad night (802)
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  (951): View more from California

  Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down

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  (951): Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down http://tfl.nu/e7px
  Replies (16) Good night (801) Bad night (1093)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?

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  (702): what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack? http://tfl.nu/aynk
  Replies (19) Good night (4586) Bad night (959)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"

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  (727): I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying" http://tfl.nu/wtiy
  Replies (19) Good night (10877) Bad night (1410)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.

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  (612): she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device. http://tfl.nu/3o4n
  Replies (14) Good night (2140) Bad night (763)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.

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  (303): I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us. http://tfl.nu/59u4
  Replies (10) Good night (1883) Bad night (566)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours

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  (215): took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours http://tfl.nu/otx8
  Replies (8) Good night (3320) Bad night (724)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.

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  (412): About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits. http://tfl.nu/4vnm
  Replies (7) Good night (2827) Bad night (621)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.

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  (229): Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night. http://tfl.nu/rfsw
  Replies (0) Good night (1320) Bad night (568)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.

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  (205): It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time. http://tfl.nu/qk61
  Replies (2) Good night (1159) Bad night (455)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .

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  (304): I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved . http://tfl.nu/02ua
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (1381)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there

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  (419): you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there http://tfl.nu/8eig
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (550)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.

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  (631): Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/mm7p
  Replies (10) Good night (350) Bad night (1006)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.

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  (479): Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after. http://tfl.nu/sigh
  Replies (3) Good night (502) Bad night (371)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.

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  (405): Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky. http://tfl.nu/1s85
  Replies (4) Good night (1108) Bad night (330)

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