So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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