everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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