You're so nebulous sometimes
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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