Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I love you. Go after that dick
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
