she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
